Fake It ‘Til You Make It: A Step Away From Mentoring?

We’ve all heard the phrase “fake it ’til you make it”, but what does it really mean, and how does it align with your journey to the top? Is it truly a departure from the power of mentoring, or can it be seen as an alternative path to discovering who you are and what you’re capable of?

When I talk about “faking it,” I’m not talking about being inauthentic or pretending to be someone you’re not. Quite the opposite. it’s about stepping into the shoes of the person you aspire to become. It’s about adopting the behaviours, attitudes, and traits of the version of yourself that you know is capable of breaking through to the next level.

I’ve been there myself. When I look back over my career, I can clearly see how I took bits from several managers I admired along the way. I was constantly watching how they did things, how they navigated tough conversations, how they were able to convince their team to follow their vision,  how they presented themselves, because at that time, they were the only real-life reference points I had. Books and research can only tell you so much, but they don’t prepare you for the real world. the situations where your presence and confidence determine whether you’re taken seriously or not.

It’s trial and error, learning and adapting as you go. The more you step into the traits and behaviours of the person you want to become, the more your confidence grows, and eventually, you start to embody that higher version of yourself.

The same approach applied when I ventured into business. My business partner had already built a successful business before we started Bedfordshire Supported Housing, and I observed how they operated, just as I did with those managers early in my career. It wasn’t about copying or losing myself, but about learning what worked and integrating those lessons to grow into the business leader I aspired to be.

This approach, ‘faking it ‘til you make it’, is not about deception. It’s about preparing, stepping into the role before you’ve officially earned the title, because that’s how you learn. You see yourself reflected in those who’ve achieved what you’re aiming for. Whether you’re moving from a £100,000 turnover to £1 million or shifting from junior management to an executive role, stepping into that future version of yourself today accelerates your growth.

Now, how does this relate to mentoring? While “faking it” is about personal transformation through modelling behaviours, mentoring takes it a step further by bringing in someone who has already walked that path. A mentor will challenge you, help you confront your own barriers, and provide insights that “faking it” alone can’t offer. Mentors can help you navigate tricky waters with real-world advice based on their lived experiences.

Both approaches are valuable. You can “fake it” to start building your confidence and presence, while working with a mentor ensures you’re growing in the right direction. At the end of the day, most successful entrepreneurs and business leaders have mentors supporting them in the background, keeping them grounded and focused.

So, fake it ‘til you make it, but don’t be afraid to reach out to those who’ve already made it. They’re the ones who will help you stay on track, push you beyond your limits, and bring out the best in you as you climb toward success.