“It’s Not You, It’s the System: Breaking Free from Imposter Syndrome and Embracing Your True Value”

Imposter syndrome. We’ve all heard of it, and many of us, especially women, have felt its weight. That nagging feeling of not being “good enough,” of feeling like a fraud despite all evidence to the contrary. It’s as if, no matter how much we achieve, we can’t shake that inner voice telling us we don’t belong. But here’s the thing: it’s not you. Imposter syndrome is not a personal failing. It’s the result of structural inequalities, a reflection of the sexism, racism, and homophobia embedded in the systems that surround us.

I recently came across a speech by Reshma Saujani, the founder of Girls Who Code, that stopped me in my tracks. She laid it out so plainly: the insecurities we feel aren’t because we’re lacking; they stem from the broken systems that distract us from reaching our full potential. Instead of focusing on “fixing” ourselves, it’s time we turn our attention to healing these larger structures. You can watch Reshma’s powerful speech here.

It’s Not About “Fixing” Yourself you don’t need to be ‘fixed!

For years, many of us have been conditioned to believe that imposter syndrome is something we need to overcome internally. We tell ourselves to “be more confident” or “push through the self-doubt.” And while personal growth is important, let’s not lose sight of the real issue: the external barriers—sexism, racism, homophobia, and other forms of discrimination—that create this phenomenon in the first place.

So many women believe they need to fix themselves to overcome this feeling of inadequacy, and it often looks like:

• Attaining more and more qualifications: You might already have all the knowledge you need, but that voice inside tells you that another degree, certification, or course will finally make you “worthy.”
• Overworking: Believing you need to prove yourself by constantly working overtime or taking on more responsibilities to demonstrate your value.
• Seeking validation from others: Depending on external approval for reassurance that you’re good enough, instead of trusting your own abilities and intuition.
• Taking more courses than necessary: Signing up for webinars, training sessions, or programs that aren’t essential because you feel the need to constantly “improve” yourself.
• Perfectionism: Trying to make every project, decision, or idea flawless before you feel it’s “good enough,” leading to burnout and self-doubt.
• Adopting male-oriented traits: Women may feel pressured to suppress their natural traits and instead take on traditionally male behaviours; like being overly aggressive or unemotional, to fit in or be taken seriously in male-dominated industries. But this effort to assimilate only deepens feelings of imposter syndrome, distancing us from our true authentic selves.

These societal structures send us the message that we don’t belong, that our empathy, our creativity, and our feminine energy aren’t enough. But let me tell you something and give you a virtual hug: you are so much more than enough! And the energy and talents you bring to the table are exactly what the world needs.

Shift the Focus to Healing the System

Imagine a world where we stop questioning our worth and start questioning the system that made us feel inadequate. A world where we don’t waste our precious time and energy trying to conform to standards that were never built for us in the first place. Instead, we channel that energy into healing the broken systems that perpetuate inequality.

I’ve spent over 20 years navigating the health and social care sector, leading Bedfordshire Supported Housing and helping others build their businesses through Brenda Queeley Consultancy. Along the way, I’ve seen firsthand how these structural barriers hold people back, especially women. We’ve been taught to question ourselves when the truth is, we should be questioning the system.

Connect with Like-Minded People

One of the most powerful steps you can take is to surround yourself with people who understand your struggles and celebrate your strengths. Find a community of like-minded individuals who will remind you of your worth, who will lift you up when self-doubt creeps in. It’s these connections that help us push through the noise of imposter syndrome and refocus on what truly matters: sharing your gifts with the world.

And yes, those gifts have value, real, financial value. Don’t be afraid to monetise your skills, whether it’s in social care, entrepreneurship, or any other field. You don’t need to be perfect to be profitable. Just start! You don’t need to “fix” yourself to be worthy of success. You deserve it!

Share Your Gifts with the World

We often underestimate the impact of our unique gifts. You have something valuable to offer, whether it’s your empathy, your leadership, or your ability to bring people together. These aren’t just personal traits; they are marketable skills. Skills that can change industries, improve communities, and yes, bring in revenue.

When I started Bedfordshire Supported Housing, I wasn’t following a blueprint. I was driven by my passion to provide for those whom society had pushed to the margins, people with complex mental health needs who were often forgotten. That passion turned into a multi-million-pound business. Not because I never doubted myself, but because I stopped listening to the doubts and started trusting in my vision.

You Are More Than Good Enough

If there’s one thing, I want you to take away from this, it’s that you are more than good enough. Don’t let imposter syndrome make you believe otherwise. The very systems that perpetuate inequality have trained us to look inward, to believe the problem lies with us. IT DOES NOT!!!

Turn your focus outward. Connect with others who share your vision, and together, let’s work to heal these broken systems. Whether it’s sexism, racism, or other forms of discrimination, they are obstacles that need dismantling—not personal flaws that need fixing.

And in the process, don’t forget to share your gifts, unapologetically. Monetise your skills. Own your worth. Because the world needs what you have to offer, and you deserve to succeed.

Final Thoughts

As a business coach, I’ve seen countless women, particularly in sectors like social care, doubting their abilities when they are already doing incredible work. My mission is to help you see and realise your value, harness your skills, and build businesses that reflect your true potential.

So, let’s stop wasting time trying to “fix” ourselves. Let’s focus on healing the world, one empowered decision at a time.